Adapted - [Mono]logue

1) - This inability for crying dismisses all the hidden tears pertaining sentimental battles, my refusal for letting go altogether redefines the demand for emotional bursts, I cried over deathbeds missing the once awaken essence that I cared for, I cry for my wrongfully accusations against loved ones, but these tear ducts of mine are locked real tight until I’m undoubtedly alone, these moments arrive whenever I’m in exile, usually triggered by words present in lyrics or frames in a cinematic endeavor, this is where I get my warm cup of comfort, stupid movies, stupid songs which reflect my precious sightseeing guaranteed as a retribution in a world of artificial people acting temporarily as real people, this is where I comeback every time, to an expedition of one to two hours boxed out love, hate and sorrow, I’ve given up on outsiders who carry their phobias around, their limitations, their special quotes created to induce pain in others, I loved to hate them for a while but then I started to educate myself in pitying their patents on ignorance, I quit laughing knowing that this could hurt someone else, this introduced new means of creating an ability, now I can find beauty in men and women alike, but while my perception of beauty in men deals with character, courage, values, and facial recognizance, my love for women acknowledges their own mysterious perception of emotions accordingly to their surroundings and special entanglement in relationships, this is not worshiping, it’s valuing.

2) - While women feel that men should be more sensitive to their surroundings, most of them teach their children not to cry like little girls, fathers certainly participate by saying things like “Butch up! You’re a man!”, I was raised by my mother and it was she that teached me to hide my sensitivity, she also suffered by having been raised this way and became one of those mothers that doesn’t display any sort of affection while dealing with young children, she failed to deliver positive remarks for my school grades or anything else, when I experienced sex for the first time I was ashamed of my sexuality and my own body, and this created a serious lack of self esteem, It lasted for two years, there was only one person in my life with whom I felt comfortable enough to deviate the attention from my own list of body little annoyances. In this relationship I was bluntly accused of being obsessed with sex, that I couldn’t live without sex, I laughed without giving her a smile or even a smirk because this was at the nearly end, and words couldn’t offend me anymore, I love the sound of caring words, whispering, talking into a mouth, I love kissing, I love hugging, I love spooning, I love touching, caressing hair, lips, bosoms, ears, nose, tongue, I love a woman’s silhouette, I love to do a full scan throughout the entire body, the erogenous areas, I love female pleasure and all it’s derivative constructs, I love sex, but sex is only a fragment of all of this, I’m not a machine and I can’t get motivated for exchanging any of these things mechanically, there’s one fundamental aspect that I always point out about making love, that my own pleasure increases by giving it away more than getting in return, there’s no arrogance, no selfishness in bed, and when there is, you are fighting against the tides pursuing the wrong person, there are lots of women who never experienced orgasms, female ejaculation, only because they are so accustomed to having selfish partners that they don’t care anymore, this is just a small piece of the cake pertaining relationships, but it’s probably the most important bit, exchanging experiences by delivering yourself completely to the other person.

Nothing in your education or experience can have prepared you for this film...

Invisible Suture

Postponing trustful terminology about reality and skewing away from direct feedback requests is very likely to happen online, people fake commiseration just to receive their special brand of cocktail consciousness daily dosage, the addictive practicality based on knowing who’s on the other side of the room is a mere illusion, a jubilee presentation with a traumatic foreclosure, figuring out a orchestrated concept of “them” is hardly a problematic process, annotations about a rhythm of life, prospects for employment, family ties and all sorts of specifications on brothers, sisters, carnivorous plants and furry encased fauna... this is the phenomenal beautification of virtual appetizers, handling out the invitations required for flavoring the emptiness of a boosted up “self” esteem, nothing matters anymore, expect extroverted packages, tender characteristics, cleverness and ease of mind, all of this because there’s no pondering, no newly disturbing proximity of inner thoughts triggered when two people engage in a conversation (real life), the delay we are accustomed to when practicing well directed appropriate responses is gone, thrown out the window, alternative routes aren't required...or are they? Am I wrong?

justBecause... :)

Hardening your *

Focusing your pupils by feeding all the brightness in may detach your retina and set you up for progressive blindness, this baffling despair confirmed by the search of a loved one along the seashore line that we are accustomed to has touched everyone’s dreams from time to time, walking barefoot along the foamy water longing for the next tidal pulsation of the heart resolves itself as a construct in your mind, these simple triggers step through as momentous of specialness, part of the instigated stroll of perseverance and curiosity, most people tend to react to their surroundings looking desperately toward similarities among residents of this uncommonly deserted station, abridged from civilization, abridged from misconceptions, missing out the understanding about the obscurity felt through emotional status engulfed by your neighbors inner thoughts, pondering about outsider expectations, rest assured, this is just a adequate symbiotic response pertaining your vulnerability, tasks you schedule while expressing your personal needs, according to your own perception of love and adventurous rites of passage experimenting your own duality every step toward someone else’s boundaries immediately increases their optimal settings for refusal and ignoring solicitation, there are no accomplishments here, there is no infrastructure created to orderly assist in the migrating of soul mates into this place, all participants are distanced from each other and become unsettled by their true inaptitude’s while exchanging ideas for real scenarios, these are clean swept stages where someone despite of their effort to reject panic would annihilate their remaining intrepidity, ramblings about the ridicule of personal doubts wouldn’t be revoked, all of this doesn’t mean that there’s a total absence of competence for fulfilling positive outcomes, it just means that most of us wouldn’t act accordingly to overcome our fears and that this is indeed one of the contiguous recognized cry’s hard to manage, hard to feed, hard to indulge.

Diagnosis

The eventuality of a successful relationship results in so arbitrarily that it's unbelievable, similar as trying to get a bowling ball inside a bottle with the cap still in place, having a go at someone forcing them to deal the cards openly is foolish, idiotic, moronic, stupid and the biggest mistake you'll ever accomplish, just saying: I’m in loved with you, I will move in next to you, I will quit my job, I’ll be unemployed for a while, I’ll work in a shitload of different dead end jobs, I’ll beg every day for your acceptance, I will change my ways for you, I’ll behave during your family dinners, I’ll treat the dog for a walk, I’ll do the dishes, cut the grass, clean the toilet, none of that will work, because you are a lowlife scumbag that couldn’t even pick up the garbage and dispose of it correctly, your lack of compliance with everyone else's makes you so insignificant that cats would polish their nails clean using you as a tree, birds would crap on your mouth and you would still be thankful for that extra sweetness in your life, you would be only usable for diverting wild rabid animals outside of residency areas by giving your flesh away for feeding, life is just a stupid fucking way do suffer miserably, again and again and again and again and again and again and again, yeah, also you would end up writing shitty posts in shitty blogs like this one that have no actual people interested in reading whatever you have to say, so there it is, one more bolt driven into your memories, one forced fed jackhammer into your thick skull that leads you incorrectly every time, forever unhappy driving into the eternal limbo, fuck you blog, you’re useless as a therapeutic tool, fuck you very much.

Tokens of Malnutrition

The inevitability of death is something I did overcome a long time ago, observing the despair and suffering of someone may work differently depending on who or what is targeted, having been raised by a divorced working mother my enthusiastic access to television in the 80’s while a kid diverted my attention from people’s values, the continuous flow of media directly into my brain continues to reverberate even until today, although I finally stopped consuming, everyone else’s hasn’t and it continues to be their main focus in life, I reached a somewhat strange situation where everything lost it’s purpose in my life including people, so even if I do react emotionally there’s a possible lack of real felt brainstorming, behaving rationally is a must but there’s also a scalable platform where I can’t sustain my inflexibility, that’s when I succumb to uncontrolled suffering, I usually don’t say everything I think worrying about causing some sort of distress in people but there’s always room for outbursts, where most disguise their true nature I deliver it in a platter, my likes or dislikes are unavoidable and that has caused me lots of problems, wondering about meanings or concatenating beliefs, crying about differences or even discussing the afterlife is just a tiny part of the whole process, we are undefined universes ourselves.

( Mass media brainwashes your intellect, broadcasted reality distortions create remarkable strange phobias in everybody who attends these obviously damaging creations, planners scan human curiosity for what's morbid and act accordingly, it’s the worst case scenario of perpetually polluting the mind )

Incisely Settings

Sculpting ideological stances resorting to someone’s lack of cognitive ability is a popular trend among subsets of religious authoritarian regimes, misshaping an already debilitated awareness juggling with something as unreliable as personal belief introduces a plethora of possibilities for the opinionated, envisioned redemption imprisons the mind and the sense for individualism, the rejection of interlinked disparities evolves into a serious bypassing of creative analysis, this rewiring of the brain detaches itself from the assumed physical vessel while partially replacing our mechanics, this way: love, hate, despair, empathy, sexuality assume the form of new unrecognized stages, the accomplished schematics suddenly reach their expiration date and if someone’s past “deviations” overflow the new system of instigated rules one must beware of repercussive measures taken by the community, something as strong as the willingness to disrupt lives should not dictate restricting values and allow the practice of denying ones sensible requirement for personal accomplishments, even if mystification and discipline simultaneously occupy the pulpit there’s no reason for limiting our unpredictable unfocused learnability, even when there’s a need for compliance one should practice intuitively outside the reign of hysteria which certainly bridges the climate changes with the deployment of the planet with a renewal process we are all observing and the suggested clarification and possible salvation offered by some sects, overindulging personal or political views is something I’m not acquainted with or even feel the urge to do so.

(I do believe in renewal and that our collective consciousness or the lack of it is so destructive that there's an obvious evidence that our own arrogance and incompatibility with all living beings depleted the process of nature's way of correcting unbalanced proceedings, human's are flawed and it's improbable that most will overcome this deficiency of perception, we are all god’s therefore we are superior to all existing creations)

Labels & Rules of Etiquette

Gradually derogatory attempts interfere with ones self disciplined measures for stipulating a set of boundaries while acquiring certain particularities, demeaning the nature of consciousness orderly serves a purposed adjustment of inconsequent liability, ones palate indispositions deals with this awkward sobriety accordingly, upset disgusted swelling of the cheeks impeaches something that can only be qualified as poignant pain, rejecting this spiced up affliction burns into the skin even deeper, despicable attributions for this insane method occur whenever a crow passes right through this room.

The Insanely Brilliance Of Charlie